One of the most common associations we make with motherhood is the concept of a supportive, tight-knit “village” of mothers to build community with. But for many moms this village can be elusive or even non-existent.
This is particularly true for women who live far from family, are the first to have babies in their friend circle, military spouses, or any other scenario that makes community more difficult to obtain.
Motherhood in these kind of circumstances can breed some of the deepest loneliness and isolation a woman will ever experience.
And this is not a need exclusive to first time moms. Moms of multiples need connection and support just as much.
BUT -- I’m really glad to be able to insert a “but” there, especially if the beginning of this post described you at all, hang on because there is good news ahead -- it doesn’t have to be this way.
It doesn’t have to stay this way. You don’t have to continue through this season without support. We need each other. Motherhood thrives most in conjunction with other mothers - for advice, a listening ear, understanding, encouragement - someone to journey alongside us who really, actually, fully gets it.
If there’s a village void in your motherhood journey, then build one yourself.
One day while at the playground with my little girl and new baby boy, I spotted another mom who looked eerily like me. Well, she had beautiful red hair (I’m blonde), and both her kiddos were boys, but what I mean is that she and I appeared to be living the same life.
When we found ourselves standing next to the same play equipment, I spoke up and asked how old her youngest was that she had in a carrier - just like me. “Four months old,” she replied. Same as my baby!
We continued our conversation - over to the swings, then the slides, constantly interrupted - as we trailed our older kids around the park. We quickly found out that we both worked in the same field, had delivered our babies in the same hospital (by the same doctor), and even had a handful of mutual friends already.
We both voiced that we were equally glad to have made a connection that day. I asked for her Instagram info before leaving the park so we could continue to chat, and I'm so glad I did.
That friendship grew into more playdates and even time hanging out together without our kids!
I share this because I need you to know that building friendships in this motherhood season does not have be complicated. It only takes a small effort, someone to “go first” and then it will oftentimes grow organically from there.
So, make the decision now to be the one.
Be the one to look up and look around. There are moms in your life already - you just haven’t connected with them yet! They are the ones who frequent the same parks, libraries, and pools as you. They, like you, crave connection and support from local moms. Be the one to initiate conversation. Be the one to ask questions! Be the one to reach out and invite. Join a mom meet up. Or join a mom group online first, if you’re really hesitant. It may not always work out, or it may not always be reciprocated. But many times - it will!
Motherhood was never meant to be a solo sport. Someone has to rally the team. Let it be you! Cultivating community is always worth the time, effort, and risk.
Build your village and watch your motherhood thrive.
“It takes a village to raise a child; it takes a village to raise a mother, too."
Here at Wyatt’s Pharmacy, we are committed to supporting you in your motherhood. One way we do that is by helping you receive a free breast pump through insurance, so CLICK HERE if you could benefit in that way. We also offer a variety of maternity and new baby items you can check out! Please reach out if you need any help with ordering supplies.